Mostly just another rant about my internship. Eh. But here comes Semana Santa!

Thank goodness. It's finally Semana Santa (Holy Week). That means I don't have school allllll week. I plan on #1. Relaxing and of course #2. Going around Sevilla to see some pasos! I'm super excited!

The last week of classes before break was a struggle. When you know you have a break coming up, the motivation to do work is at about a two and a half. We didn't have class on Tuesday, though, due to a huelga -- gotta love those Spanish protests that get you out of school.

Nothing else really happened this week. Thursday night was the grand finale of one of Toni's favorite shows, Gran Hermano VIP. I watched it with her until it got to be like midnight and then I just couldn't handle it anymore. I'm not a fan of that show, but I did want to see who won...but I had to get up early the next morning, so sleep won over Gran Hermano. Turns out that the girl who I thought would win, Belén, did in fact win.

However on Friday, things got a lil' crazy. My internship has been kind of a hot mess lately, but when is it ever normal? So, the past two Fridays, the first teacher that I work with has not been the most helpful. I'll tell ya all about it:

The first time, she just straight up didn't show up to class until like 9:30 (class was already half over). Then she poked her head in the door, told me there was a "problem downstairs" and that she wanted me to just teach the class, then she rolled right back out (without even telling me what she wanted me to teach)! It's not even my job to teach in that class (so I didn't come prepared with a lesson plan -- lesson learned, always come with some kind of plan even if it's not an actual lesson plan...just anything to pass the time), and she knows that because she's the one who told me that my job is to work with small groups to evaluate their English while she teaches. Her exact words were, "Every Friday, you'll evaluate a group of students' English, help them find what they need to work on the most, and practice conversation with them." Why she gotta change things up without notice???

ALSO, let me tell you something else: I don't think I have ever worked in a class so disrespectful in my entire life. I don't think I've even seen or been in a class that disrespectful -- and I've basically spent my whole life in school, 17 years out of 21. They were up and moving around (despite my best efforts to get them seated), throwing numerous things (including the typical paper balls and also something that looked like a shortened bike tire inner tube -- which I promptly confiscated as soon as I saw it flying through the air), hitting each other, screaming for literally no good reason other than to just see what I would do, and about 50 other different things. I'm 23902383% sure it's because the students don't think of me as a teacher and just want to see what limits there are. It was absolutely impossible to do anything in that class. I tried every dang trick I could remember from my education classes to try to bring things together, but goodness gracious, it was like trying to climb up an icy hill barefoot with your hands tied behind your back. There's not one education class out there that could even begin to prepare you for the nightmare that is "American Intern Working in a Class of almost 30 Spanish 15 Year Olds." Not one.

It's also so fun when the students think you don't know Spanish (the teachers tell us not to let them know we know Spanish...but I feel like sometimes it's necessary to communicate in Spanish in situations like this), so they like to talk about the fact that they can say and do whatever they want because I won't know what's happening. It's even more fun to respond to them in Spanish and tell them that they're definitely wrong, and then watch their eyes get really big. This gif accurately sums up how that feels:

And it's not like I could go find their teacher because she literally just rolled out, didn't tell me where she'd be, and that was that. Gee, thanks for the help.

Let it be known that it wasn't a complete disaster. I sort of got their attention enough to play a pretty good game of hangman in English, and I got the majority of them to do a writing prompt. It just took way more effort than necessary (and a lot of help from the students who actually took me seriously when I told them that I was going to give a *really* honest report of their behavior to their teacher).

After that class, I searched high and low for the teacher, finally found her just chillin' in a random hallway, and then told her that the class was probably the worst in the history of all classes ever, then I told her I was never working with them alone ever again. Her response? "Yeah, they're my worst class. They're very rude and loud....no respect. Was it really bad? I'm not surprised. I'll talk to them." Wow, so helpful.

The second time (this past Friday), she showed up at 9:20, didn't apologize or anything, and then just called on the students she wanted to be evaluated, unlocked the teacher's workroom down the hall for us and sent us on our merry way. Ugh.

Side rant: I'm pretty sure she just didn't want to teach --- aka do her job. I have heard from other interns that she never shows up to class/always shows up ridiculously late to class, or that she'll come to class but leave for the majority of the class to "go make copies." Basically, we've come to the conclusion that she uses her classes with interns as free periods. I don't feel like that is very professional, and I'm pretty sure more than half of these interns aren't even studying education, so they don't even know the basics of how to manage a classroom (which isn't a bad thing, but it's not very ideal). Also, why is she even allowed to do that? None of us are licensed teachers, and the older students don't see us as teachers...they just see us as these random Americans invading their class to speak English for a while. That combined with the complete lack of respect I've seen for teachers from students in this school creates a pretty hectic classroom environment that ~no one~ is really equipped to handle.



There is a giant silver lining to all of this, though! I no longer dread going to infantil (the 4 and 5 year olds) after this class! It's basically heaven in there! Singing songs, tellings stories...and of course...wiping snot. You know, I didn't know small children produced so much snot. It's slightly disturbing. But really, I like my infantil class now, and I totally prefer it over the 15 year olds.

Also, things at my internship were kind of a hot mess on Friday because that was the day of the school's mock Semana Santa procession. On one hand, it was an extremely valuable and amazing experience to witness, but on the other hand, it was a lot of stuff to handle. Phew. I bet it took some intense organization. Here are some pictures I borrowed from the school's Facebook page:

Some students dressed up like women do on a certain day of Semana Santa to mourn the death of Jesus
(source)

Nazarenos all ready to go!
(source)

Some Nazarenos!
(source)

My internship supervisor making her way through a sea of children
(source)

Yep, there are students underneath of that carrying it just like "in real life!"
(source)

If you want to see the rest of the pictures, here's the link to their Facebook page: Colegio Marista San Fernando FB Page

So yeah, that's about it. Tomorrow (and the rest of this week), I plan on going out to see some "real" Semana Santa pasos. That'll be an interesting experience. I really hate crowds so much, so on one hand I'm really looking forward to everything, but on the other hand...ugh, not really. It'll be fun, though!

-----

College search update:

There's nothing to update you on because I'm still waiting for financial aid information from Salem College and Randolph College. I've got my information for Hollins University, but I just need to double check that I would for sure graduate on time from there (same with all of the rest of the colleges). I've almost thrown Salem out of the picture because of the differences between education programs, though...but I'm keeping it in the running just in case it is ridiculously cheaper. Not sure if I would still go, though. Basically everything's still a waiting game.

An Official Rant about my Life

An Official Rant about my Life

by Kari Christopher

Disclaimer: I don't have the time to write a normal blog post. This isn't really even related to studying abroad, but it has some bits and pieces of that stuff...but I have a to-do list 3,000 miles long, a short attention span, and I'm just plain tired. So, I'm just going to rant and complain because I really don't have the time or energy to clearly organize my thoughts, and honestly, I'm going to rand and complain just because I can. I gotta get this off my chest. Hopefully, something interesting or good will come out of this. At the least, I at least know that ranting usually makes me feel better towards the end.

As you may know, Sweet Briar College, my first-choice college, my home, is closing. As you also may know, I am currently in Seville, Spain. Let me tell you something, being a junior and finding out your college is closing is quite possibly one of the worst things that could ever happen. Being a junior and finding out your college is closing while you're an ocean away is even worse. AND, having it happen during the middle of your spring semester while you're studying abroad right before you take your midterms?? Yeah. Probably the worst.

Don't get me wrong, this sucks no matter who you are. Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, faculty/staff, alumna, parents, family, friends...it sucks for everyone, period.

I've just felt like a complete train wreck the past couple of weeks. I found out about Sweet Briar's closing the week before my midterms. The week before my midterms was supposed to be when I started studying for my exams, but obviously, I flung that idea right out of the window and immediately went into college search overdrive. I spent every waking moment emailing different colleges, searching for information, trying to keep up with what was happening on campus, and reading articles about what was happening. I told myself once the weekend came, I'd take a break from everything Sweet Briar related and focus only on my exams and doing well on them.

Buuuutttt, that weekend I came down with tonsilitis and was in bed sleeping until that Monday morning. I didn't have a lot of time to study. Needless to say, I'm not sure how my exam grades are going to look, but I don't care. I have bigger things to worry about like picking a freaking new college to go to.

I never thought I'd have to go through the college admissions application process again...unless I was trying to get another degree or something...but here I am!

I feel like this has kind of happened to me before. Senior year of high school, a couple of weeks before my birthday, my landlord showed up and told my mom and I that we had a month to move out. That was SO FUN!! In case you missed the sarcasm...it actually, at that time, was the absolute worst. At first, I totally thought we were going to be homeless. My mom didn't have a job at the time, we couldn't really afford any of the places we could find. I ended up having to move in with my dad, and my mom had to move to a trailer park. My dad lives 35 minutes away from my high school, and I thought I had to change high schools February of my senior year. Luckily, I got permission to keep attending CHHS so I could graduate from there since I had such little time left. It really sucked driving to and from school every day. I felt so distant from everything, and really, living with my dad is not the healthiest place to live.

Those first months I spent at my dad's, I kept telling myself that even though things felt really awful then, come August, I would finally be able to escape and go to Sweet Briar: my first choice college, the "pink bubble," the place I'd be safe and sound and back on track. In April 2012, I visited SBC for the first time during an accepted applicants weekend. I fell in love with the school more than I already had from just talking with my admissions counselor and researching every little detail about the school. Like many other women, I knew that Sweet Briar was perfect for me the moment I drove onto campus. The drive there was rainy, cloudy, and dreary, but as soon as I turned onto campus...the clouds literally parted, the sun shown down on the newly budding trees and green grass, and it ended up being an extremely beautiful day. It was totally a sign.

Fast-forward to freshman year: it was great. My professors were wonderful, I took a variety of classes, and I decided that Spanish and Education were the right routes for me. I set my mind on studying abroad with Junior Year in Spain even though I was advised that it would be difficult while being in the education program, but that wasn't about to stop me. I planned out my four years to make it happen, and look, here I am now in Spain...here for the year and still in the education program! I also met a ton of amazing people who I'm proud to call my Sweet Briar sisters. I got my first on-campus job as a Phonathon caller, and it was a really encouraging job to have as a freshman. So many alumnae spoke to me and told me all about their favorite experiences at Sweet Briar and wished me luck in my four years there. The only thing that sucked about freshman year was the fact that I had to leave campus to go back home on breaks.

Fast-forward to sophomore year: It was a giant struggle but also a giant milestone year. First, I dealt with some serious depression. It wasn't easy. I didn't always want to go to class or to study. I didn't want to go to work. I didn't want to do anything. The once special Sweet Briar, the pink bubble, was just black and white. I didn't care that I was there (something that I wish I could have taken advantage of more now that I'm not there for the last operating semester). I didn't let anyone know (except a few select people) I was struggling, either, which in hindsight, kind of made things worse (but at the same time the motivation to not let anyone know I was struggling is what kept my grades at a decent level). But whatever, I got through it. It was a milestone year because, despite my lack of caring about basically anything, I still applied to the Teacher Education Program and got in, and I applied to study abroad with Junior Year in Spain, and I was accepted. These two things definitely motivated me a ton once I started feeling a little better towards the end of spring semester.

Fast-forward to last semester: No more depression, no more struggling. I was in Sevilla, ¡por fin! A little homesick, surprisingly. I missed the comforts of America...like actually understanding people when they talked to me, being able to communicate without using a dictionary, and understanding the cultural norms. I got over it, though, once I got used to everything. A few annoying things from the USA kept trying to creep in on my life here in Sevilla, but with some guidance, I dealt with it easily. After that, I finally felt perfectly 100% okay for the first time since senior year of high school before the whole moving thing happened! I was doing great :D

Fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago when I found out Sweet Briar was closing: Knocked down. Slapped in the face. Good bye finally being happy, hello scrambling to get up out of a ditch that seems just a little bit too deep. I was so freaking ready to deal with life head-on when I got back to the States. I had a plan. I wasn't going to live at home so I wouldn't have to risk my now great mental health, I was going to take summer classes to help finish my gen eds, I was going to try to get a job where I could live elsewhere away from home. I was going to enter my senior year at Sweet Briar and finish strong, then move on to my fifth year to get my MAT. Everything was going to be okay. But of course, once I'm finally feeling like I'm standing on solid ground, I have the rug ripped out from underneath me.

Now, what's ahead of me? A bunch of fog. I can't see anything. Everything's confusing, and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to find a place to graduate from and to complete my MAT. Though I am eternally grateful for how nice and accepting everyone at the different teach-out schools are being, none of them feel the same as Sweet Briar. None of them are Sweet Briar. I know I can't compare the new schools with Sweet Briar...I'll be disappointed every time. I need to look at everything with an open mind, and I'm really trying. It's just so hard to do when you finally felt like everything was okay and then suddenly nothing was.

I have a little hope that maybe SBC will be saved, but I have to be responsible and prepare as if it is going to close.

And preparing for Sweet Briar's closure is stressful. I'm tired of sending 32094234 emails to 32048423 different people: admissions counselors, Spanish professors, education professors, current students of the different colleges, my professors at Sweet Briar, etc. I'm tired of looking at different colleges. I'm tired of planning so much. I'm tired of not knowing exactly what to even expect from the colleges I'm applying to. I'm tired of trying to picture everything from so far away. I'm tired of being so far away during a time like this. I'm tired of all of this affecting my last bit of time in Sevilla. I think I'm just tired in general.

I just want to get all of this solved as soon as possible so things can go back to normal...but I guess, one thing that I can take from this, is that nothing is ever normal. Something's always going to happen, and you just gotta be flexible and try your best to handle the situation as efficiently as possible. Stuff happens and you just gotta deal with it.

And stuff just keeps on happening to me. Before I end this, I have one more thing to complain about. A few hours ago, after completing a giant to-do list I had made at the beginning of the day and feeling super relieved and confident, my dad sends me an email to tell me he had my dog put down.

What's next, life? What else are you going to throw at me?

Whatever it is...I'll be ready. Despite everything, I know that I'll get through this eventually, and it'll only make me a stronger person in the end.

Adiós 2014, Hola 2015

Where did this week go? Wait, no, where did last year go?

Not having class makes me completely lose track of the days...and now it's a whole different year? Yikes! It seems almost impossible that it's 2015.

One of the last things I did in 2014 was get a haircut. I was soo nervous for two reasons:

1. I would have to describe what I want in Spanish, and my hair salon vocab is practically non-existent (well it's better now)
2. My last haircut was horrendous and I figured since I was speaking in Spanish this time, my hair could only turn out awful due to lack of communication

Well, that was a backwards experience. Yes, the communication in the salon was kept to a minimum, but my haircut was on point. How is it that in America, where I can communicate perfectly, the hairdresser screws up my hair, but here in Spain where I had to use vocab that I Googled 30 minutes before getting to the salon, where I almost forgot out to say "layers" and had to use my hands to help get across what I was trying to say, and where I'm not even fluent in the language, my hair comes out wonderfully? I don't understand it, but I'm not going to argue with it. I'm just gonna have to find Spanish speaking hairdressers back in the States, hahaha. No but really, look at this:

That's some nice hair.

I was going to compare this haircut with my last haircut, but I just can't. The last haircut was just too bad to even put on my blog. So let's just rejoice with how not-horrible this one is.

Also, let me tell you all about my interesting New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve, my friends' host mom let them invite me to their New Year's Eve dinner. Before I begin, I want to say I really had a good time and it was super cool getting to see how they celebrate New Year's Eve in Spain...but that night was quite the patience tester.

Soo, on Wednesday, I got dressed up and moseyed my way down San Vicente de Paúl, took a left on Ronda de Triana, and about five minutes later I was waving at Isis who was going to show me up to where her and Genisis live. I had already met all of their host family except for their host dad and their host grandparents, so when I got there I greeted everyone with dos besos and made small talk (ugh) with their family. At one point, Isis and Genisis left me alone with their host grandpa, Javier, who (while very nice) has a very thick accent Andalusian accent. He was talking to me about the weather (of course, the most typical small talk known to man), but I could only catch about 75% of what he was saying. While that sounds pretty decent, the important parts of the conversation were included in the 25% that I didn't understand, such as questions he was asking me. Once I finally understood a question, I took that and ran with it. I started talking about how the weather here was different than Virginia and that lasted me until Isis and Genisis came back and saved me from the small talk nightmare.

The actual dinner wasn't too bad. Genisis made me a yummy tofu dish since her host mom had no idea what to feed me. All in all, though, the dinner was quite the learning experience.

Anyone who has known me for even five minutes knows that:

1. I am quiet.
      1.5. I am an introvert.

That being said, I didn't say much at dinner. I didn't say much because I didn't think there was anything for me to say. I'm more content listening to the conversation. In group situations, I don't typically speak up unless someone directly addresses me or unless I really feel like I have something important to share. However, lil' ol' Granny (the host dad's mom) thought I wasn't speaking because I didn't know/understand Spanish. I mean, seriously, even if they were talking in English, I still wouldn't have chimed in. The granny asked me something, and I didn't hear all of what she had said because I didn't realize she was speaking to me for the first half of the question, so when I asked her to repeat, she proceeded to turn to Isis and said, "Ohh, pobrecitaaa, ella no puede entender nada que he dicho. *clucks her tongue* Ella está sentando allí con ni idea de qué está pasando..." Translation: Ohh, poor thing, she can't understand anything that I've said. *clucks tongue* She's sitting there with no idea of what's going on." My reaction was something like this:

I do not like people assuming I do not understand them. Mostly, I don't like people talking about me when 1. I can in fact understand them and 2. When I'm right there. I literally sat right across from her. I was trying to tell her that I just didn't hear the question, but Isis and Genisis jumped in before me to explain to her that I actually do understand Spanish, but lil' ol' Granny didn't seem to listen or care. The granny ignored me for the rest of the dinner...not making eye contact with me once. She literally would look at Javier on my left, skip over me, and look at Genisis on my right. 

It's very rare when I just straight up don't like someone without getting to know them with concrete reasons to not like them, but I did not like her. I can usually get along with just about everyone. I have been told that I have a "neutral personality," but if you're going to not even give me a chance to understand you and then just ignore me for the rest of the time we're together, that's going to get on my nerves and my "neutral personality" will become a sassy personality.

And then, the whole freaking time at dinner, about 90% of the dinner table conversation was about vegetarianism and veganism and the big question of "Why do you do that????" Don't get me wrong, I really like Genisis' and Isis' host family a lot, but good lord...the ignorance and lack of respect was getting on my last nerves. I got asked several times about cheese, eggs, and other stuff. I didn't go into detail about it. I spent most of the time just listening to Isis and Genisis defending their points (they're vegetarians btw). They were being completely respectful about it, but their family was just like, "But animals are to eat. Animals taste good. I think you're wrong. I don't care if I'm eating a dead animal -- me da igual. You wan't some of my lamb or shrimp or crab??" My face during the dinner went through several levels of "unimpressed." I'll illustrate these levels with some nice hand selected gifs:

Level 1: The Unimpressed Emotionless Staredown Face

Level 2: The "Yes, please go on telling me about how you need to eat animals to survive" Face

Level 3: The "Did that tontería (nonsense) really just come out of your mouth" Face



Level 4: The "I'm listening, and I think you're wrong, but I'm not going to say anything" Face



Level 5: The "Well they're never gonna change their mind so I'll just tune out" Face




In the whole time I've been in Spain, I have never encountered someone who gave up talking to me on the first interaction. Seriously, every time I don't understand someone, they literally just repeat themselves, which is what I prefer. Sometimes I just need to hear something twice, and I expected that from the lil' granny too, but nope. She just assumed I had no idea what was going on and refused to talk to me for the rest of the time.

I also haven't encountered anyone, not just in Spain but in the States as well, so insistent that meat is so vital to life and that if you don't eat meat you'll get sick and die/if you don't eat meat then it makes you some weird freak. Not even my dad was that annoying about it, and I thought he hit like the top of the top of annoying. I think it's worse when there's just a table of 6 people all with the same opinion that meat = life -- which is quite the opposite. Meat is actually death, and eating it can contribute to a shorter lifespan...just saying.

Now don't get me wrong, I respect others' choice to eat meat. Yes, I think it's wrong, but they have the choice to do that just like I have the choice not to. It's not the fact that they're meat eaters that gets on my nerves, it's the lack of mutual respect. I don't sit there questioning why they're eating meat, throwing all kinds of facts at them about how bad meat is for them and how veggies are way better. I literally just sat there and ate my food, and somehow the existence of a vegan or vegetarian is enough to provoke the unnecessary avalanche of questions and comments. I know this is just one of the many times in my life that this will happen, so I really need to just learn to be less bothered by this kind of stuff. It's just extremely annoying that I try to be respectful of others but they don't have the same respect.

And honestly, I feel like I'm pretty good at shutting down any possibly avalanches of questions, but Genisis and Isis were more quick to explain themselves which kept the conversation fueled, while if I sense that I'm with really non-understanding people, I go straight for the, "I'm not going to discuss this with you" response. I think it's better to just not discuss that kind of stuff until I really have a good grasp of how I think the person will react, and if I think they're not going to react well, I simply avoid it.

Anyway, before I go on even more of a vegan rant, I'll move on. After dinner, we all picked out 12 grapes out and each put them on our own cute lil' baby plate to consume when the clock struck 12AM. In Spain, everyone watches the clock in Madrid on TV (or wherever they happen to be if they're not at home watching it being broadcast on the news) just like we watch the clock in NYC. However, in Spain, the clock in Madrid chimes, and with each chime, you eat a grape. You eat one grape for each month, and the grape is supposed to represent good luck. It's harder that it sounds, but I got all my grapes down (even if towards the end I slightly resembled a chipmunk). It was actually really fun. :)

This is everyone after we got all of our grapes down and were celebrating the first few minutes of 2015:



So yeah, my NYE was pretty interesting. Overall, I enjoyed it a lot, and I'm so glad I went. Annoyances aside, they have a wonderful host family!

The rest of my first week of 2015? Ehhh...not too eventful.

On New Year's Day I walked all the way to Nervión with Calee to help her find the house that she's going to be tutoring at. It was really fun to catch up with Calee and to explore a part of Sevilla that we both hadn't been to before. The directions she had took us through all these little backroads and made things kinda confusing, but on our way back we just stuck with the main roads and found a much easier route. All in all it was pretty successful.

Yesterday I got to witness Aitana, my host mom's 7/8 month old (not completely sure how old she is) granddaughter, try her first yogurt. Her face was sooo adorable! I love watching babies try foods for the first time because their expressions are always so priceless. Also, Aitana seems to like me. She always smiles/giggles at me for no reason haha. Maybe she just thinks I look funny, who knows. But when she was eating her yogurt, she was watching me the whole time, and in between bites she'd kinda reach toward me and giggle, and my host mom was like, "Aww she likes Americans!" Lol, because a 7/8 month old is able to sense that I'm American.

Also, yesterday, I went to a new restaurant with Isis, Genisis, and Calee that I haven't been to yet with vegan options called Habanita. It's a cuban restaurant with lots of vegan and vegetarian options (which are clearly labeled on the menu). The food was soo good, and I think this place is my new favorite here in Sevilla. I got falafel w/ coconut sauce and it was tasty, and the falafel was nice and moist, unlike the other falafel that I've had here. It was also pretty nice to have all the JYS SBC girls spending time together.

Another random thing: I just want to comment on how nice the weather has been here lately. Look at all of that sun! I tok a walk today along the river and I had to take off my jacket at one point because I was getting pretty toasty walking in the sun.

Also these warm temperatures are niiiice. I'm not looking forward to going back to a Virginia winter next year. Good thing my host mom is knitting me a scarf ;D

Lastly, I just want to write the typical "New Year's" blah-de-blah junk. I don't really have any "New Year's Resolutions," because I feel like if you want to do something, you shouldn't wait until the new year to start. This is just going to be an eventful year, and I hope that I can continue to grow as a person as much as I have towards the end of 2014. Almost half of 2015 will be spent in Spain for me, and then the other half will be me starting my senior year at Sweet Briar. I can't believe I'm going to be a senior! It feels like everything's coming to a close and while on one hand I don't like that feeling at all, on the other hand I love knowing I still have lots of adventures lying ahead of me!